Pete's Log: back East and crazy Pete

Entry #1285, (Life in General)
(posted when I was 23 years old.)

Cari and I drove back to Philadelphia yesterday. So here we are. It doesn't look like we'll be staying long, though. We're driving to the Jersey shore tomorrow. We'll be there a little while. Then it looks like back to South Bend.

The drive here was interesting. We stopped near Cleveland to visit Emily, a friend of Cari's. That was cool. At her place I took out my contacts since my left one was bugging me. Then I realized I'd left my glasses in South Bend. So the solution I came up with was to wear only my right contact for the rest of the drive. That worked out well enough, I suppose.

I also spent some of the latter portions of the trip, while Cari was asleep, wondering just how sane I really am. It honestly seems to me that of recent my brain has becoming less functional. Or better yet, functional in less traditional means. For the second half of last semester I had to deal with regular auditory hallucinations. That was interesting. So I find myself repeating to myself facts I've heard about schizophrenia often setting in during the early twenties. I'm such a silly paranoid. At a bar a few weeks ago I had nearly convinced myself that somebody I'd been talking to hadn't actually existed. I then realized just how silly my thinking was and returned to reality. But while this is all mainly just amusing, it's slightly scary, too.

The hallucinations have gone away, though. Their end seems to match up chronologically both with a decrease in my stress levels as well as a change in diet -- I quit being vegan. So who knows what the deal there is.

Thursday night Megan went to sleep early. My brain was in overdrive and I wanted to give it some focus, so I took some Ritalin. First time in a while I'd done so. Then instead of writing like I'd wanted to, I played freecell. This one particular game it took me 21 tries before I beat it. Then I decided to try to beat it again, and it took another eight attempts before I was able to beat it again. So that was weird. Then I moved on to other freecell games, and while I had less trouble with those, I soon came to the realization that I was sorta tripping. And I knew it was the Ritalin. I mean, what the fuck? That had never happened before. And I'd only taken 10 mg. So now I'm pretty much scared of ever taking that stuff again. So I played a few more games of freecell, which proved very surreal. Then I went to bed and just held Megan while she slept. That seemed to make everything better. I never did fall asleep, though. Weird.

I'm happy, though, which is the most important thing, I guess. But my life is out of control, and as much fun as it is, I need to get control over it. Everything seems so overwhelming. I'll figure something out, though. I'm sure of that. Things seem to be getting better already.

Andy just made my night by using the term "geschlechtsverkehrbunnies."