user

Pete's Log: Log Entry 374

Entry #374, Tue, July 25, 2000, 10:28 EST (Life in General)
(posted when I was 22 years old.)
arun has updated my biography:

Pete "Zampolit" Rijks

The cold wastelands of Russia have produced two things of worth - Coal and Peter (Piotr native Russian) Rijks (Rijks in his native Russian). An initially promising career in the Soviet Navy (missile submarine division) was cut short due to "extreme buoyancy problems." This lead to his doubt and eventual disgust with the entire Soviet Political scheme.

Imprisoned as a dissident in the now famous Gulag, Peter used his time wisely, gathering his forces around him and honing his special form of Kung-fu (a mix of traditional Chinese techniques and Belgian Cooking). When the Soviet regime eventually collapsed Pete was perfectly poised to become the most powerful man in the Russian Mafia. From here he used is vast knowledge of Japanese culture to become the most feared of Yakuza bosses.

Special Mutant Powers:
- Super sensitive teeth
- Armored armpit (right side only)

Bibliography:
- Article, Hentai Examiner, September 1985
- Interview, 20/20, January 14, 1999

Notable Accomplishments:
- Iron Chef South Bend
- Perfect attendance record, PS 45, Moscow

Typical Quotes:
- "I will live in Montana. And I will marry a round American woman and raise rabbits, and she will cook them for me. And I will have a pickup truck... maybe even a 'recreational vehicle.'"
- "Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're demanding beer."

Nobody has rated this entry.